You know, it was only a few days in to the new decade 2020’s, and my mind was already attacking me. It was telling me that I didn’t really do much this past decade and that I should be way more successful at this point. Goodness! What a way to start the decade! Then, I stopped my mind and said “No Vanessa! Don’t you DARE go there. The past 10 years were some of the most defining moments of your life! After getting my mind set straight, I started to think of all the things that happened from 2009-2019. Every new year, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about the future that we forget to reflect on the past. So, in this post, I am doing just that. Reflecting. I need to remind myself that each year has been a blessing. Some years more difficult than others but nonetheless so very necessary for growth. So let’s take a blast to the past, shall we?
2009: Graduated High School. I cannot tell you enough how excited I was to graduate High School. I had just finished getting 2nd place in the track state meet in the 300 Meter hurdles (after being state champion in 2008) and was about to start at my dream college Baylor University in the fall and run track there. Started track at Baylor and quickly realized I was not as good at track as I thought I was. I started college and even though I was always curious as to how things worked, I swore I’d never do Engineering and take after my parents’ footsteps. However the tables turned when I took an intro to Engineering course where my teacher was so good at explaining the way things worked that I became inspired and ended up choosing Electrical Engineering as my major. Oh boy did I not realize all that this field would entail!
2010: Honestly 2010 is a blur. I only remember trying to force myself to do track again even when I did not like it. Life lesson: Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
2011: Moved from Waco, TX back to Colorado and transferred from Baylor to the University of Colorado. I was very distracted at Baylor and needed to focus in order to finish college. I moved to Colorado Springs and continued pursuing my degree in Electrical Engineering. It was at the University of Colorado where I realized I was good at electrical circuits and power systems. For some reason, I again tried to do track. I still hated it, but for some reason I still did it. Lesson to learn: Don’t do things for the fame, for the perks or for any reason other than you love it. It is just not worth it and you will leave with less than what you started with.
2012: Fall 2012 was the year I almost quit Engineering school and dropped out of college. I was fed up with being the only girl in most of my classes. I was discouraged with constantly being among extremely intelligent people in the class and I was tired of not having a social life. I just wanted to sleep, chill and I wanted out! Luckily, I had some amazing support around me to help me not lose sight of the goal. That semester my junior year of college, I did 21 credits and got the best GPA of my entire college career. I guess I thrive off of a challenge.
MATRICES ON MATRICES in EE School
2013: This was senior year and we were starting our senior projects. My senior project was with two other extremely intelligent guys and we made and programmed a robot. This year was very eye opening to me because it made me realize that I have a place within the Engineering world. You see, most engineers hate writing and giving presentations. I love writing and giving presentations so it worked out! It made me aware of the fact that I could take difficult concepts and make sense of them on paper for someone else to understand. It made me realize that I would do well at careers in which people needed a translator from the engineers to other departments. I finally realized what my role could be as an engineer.
2014: I finally graduated college! It took 5 years but I did it! I was so glad to have finished that I ended up booking a solo trip to Europe and that triggered my interest in travel and adventure! This was the year that I learned that traveling can truly change your life in ways that are indescribable. It was this year that I learned you cannot make assumptions about another person or place until you have heard their story or have visited that location for yourself. It was on this trip that I realized that things are not as scary as they seem. After this adventure, my family took a little vacation to NYC for the first time and I was inspired on a whole new level. I thought “man, I want to live here one day.” We flew back to Colorado and I got my first corporate job and realized that I was neglecting a whole side of me. My fashion side. Growing up, I had always loved clothes and makeup. I just was in awe with the way they looked and made you feel. Fashion to me, has always been a form of wearable art and every Friday in college, the Engineers would put on their best outfits. (I know right! Engineers dressing up!) My college peers had a saying, “when you look good, you feel good, when you feel good, you do good.” I liked to add, “and when you do good, good things happen.” With that saying in mind, 2014 was the year I dove into the fashion world head first. I wanted an in, in any way I could. I put on my first fashion show at my church during their Women’s Tea and knew I had to do more. I reached out to all of the local fashion shows and magazines and asked to volunteer with the fashion shows, style for the magazines, and write articles for them. It was some of the most fun I have ever had!
Howie + Crystal 
Graduation 2014 
The Extreme Sisters X 
Graduation 2014
1st time in NYC 
Mykonos, Greece 
First Fashion Show: Denver Paper Fashion Show
2015: Every day, I would drive to work and see the beautiful Denver skyline and think to myself, “one day I am going to live in downtown Denver.” I hung out there almost every weekend and put on so many fashion shows throughout the city, that it only made sense! This was the year I realized that I loved being where the hustle and bustle is.
2016: Moved into my first apartment in downtown Denver! Yes! I love this story because it proves to myself that I am a go-getter. When I want something badly enough, I will get it. My goodness, I loved that place. It was in the perfect location right across from the grocery store nicknamed “Hot Soopers” because the men in there were so fine! There was even an Instagram page! HA! It was also near Coors Field which was the baseball stadium so in the summer, I’d park on the street in the morning and my friends would take my garage spot and we’d go to games and find coffee and brunch places in the city! It was simply the best! My apartment was the first time I decorated a place of my own and boy did I love that process. From picking out a color scheme, to making it cozy, I really loved that place and was sad to let it go. 2016 was the year I finally “adulted” and learned a lot about myself. This apartment generated my joy for hospitality and the importance of creating a space where people would feel safe, connected and loved. This was also the year where I experienced grief for the first time with someone around my age. My brother’s best friend, Geno, passed away due to cancer. He was one of the best men you could ever meet. He was literally the man that was everyone’s friend. He had charm for days and a nickname for everyone. He was very inclusive and made “outsiders” or “outcasts” feel like they were cool and that they belonged. Such a great man! I know he’s looking down from heaven making fun of all of us! I am so honored to have known him and grateful that he and my brother were the brothers they never had to each other. I was struggling with some bad habits during this year and after his death, I really spiraled away from my faith and fell further away from myself, but thank goodness for a God who saves.
Downtown Denver Apartment 🙂
Pauline, Evlyn, Me and Geno. Last hike we did with him before he passed.
2017: This was the year God saved me. He’s always saving me. Thank God, He is God and I’m not. Can I get an AMEN?! 2017 stimulated a new hunger in me for the things I wanted out of life. I was determined to take my interests in fashion to the next level. I had been doing mostly everything I could in Denver, so the next step was New York Fashion Week. You can read all about the Significance of September here. I found a group of female entrepreneurs online who were going to fashion week. They laid out a pretty good plan of how to pitch yourself to get into fashion shows and events during fashion week. That year, September 2017, I attended 3 days of fashion week where I met one of my best friends Neelab, and then did 3 days of exploring the city. I was sitting on the plane going back to Colorado thinking “Oh this is so nice, going back to Colorado to visit my family.” When I was really going back to Colorado because I lived there. I started getting emotional on the plane because I felt like I was leaving home. That night, I left my heart in NYC and realized the only way to get it back was to move there. Within a month of returning to Colorado, I found someone to take over my apartment lease and moved back in with my parents to save for NYC. I missed that apartment a lot (still do) but I had some new goals on the horizon. I figured out a plan to save enough money to officially move.
2018: This was the year I said good-bye to everything I knew, in pursuit of my dreams to be a fashion blogger, writer, creator, Engineer and entertainer in the greatest city in the world. I moved to NYC August 6, 2018 and it has been a whirlwind ever since.
2019: This was a year of self discovery. I was still on the high of moving but towards the end of 2019, I was beginning to lose my sense of self-worth and purpose. My confidence has definitely taken a hit while being out here. Things I thought I was qualified for, I am an amateur yet again. Opportunities that I thought I had in the bag, have been swept out from under my feet. It’s a dog eat dog world and I am learning to adjust without compromising my values. One piece of advice for small town people who move to a big city; do not lose sight of who you are and why you’re there. Constantly remind yourself of your worth and never take things personally. NYC is HUGE and it is easy for distractions to distort your purpose. The competition may be fierce but that means it is an opportunity for you to create opportunity. The things you did back in your hometown can start to seem as minor, meaningless or as if nobody cares. To be honest, most people probably do not care, but you have to think of that as humbling your mind versus a personal attack. I am navigating where my place will be in this world and trying to find my voice.
2009-2019 was a monumental chunk of my life that I need to be proud of. I encourage you to take a look at the memories of the past 10 years for yourself. Reflect. Be proud, realize you’re strong and in the process of becoming! Let’s start off 2020 with positivity!
Looking forward to 2020!
Shop a similar look below
