Wow, it is surreal to think that this year is coming to an end. I could have sworn it was just the beginning of 2018 and I was headed to Ouray, Colorado to go ice climbing with my family. Is it just me or as you get older, the years go by faster and faster and start to blend together?
2018 Goal: Move to NYC
This year, I had only set one goal for myself which as you know was to move to NYC. For reasons why I moved, you can read that here. It had been my dream for so long that I finally told myself, THIS IS THE YEAR. When I found out that the Pantone color of the year was Ultra Violet for 2018 (purple is the best color ever!), that was when I pre-determined this as the year in which I made the big move.
Lesson 1: Be a doer all the time, not just when there is a deadline
Why is it that as soon as we have a deadline, we start to make the most of our lives? Or at least I did. As soon as I realized my moving deadline, that was when I started got more involved with every aspect of my life trying to create the life that I was striving towards. I started groups at my church, volunteered to style more shoots, got more writing gigs with magazines, worked at more fashion shows than ever before, wrote a few more blog posts, saved more $$, started taking voice and guitar lessons. The list goes on and on. I tried to do as many things as possible before moving. But why did it take that new deadline mind set to start taking action? Looking back, I ask myself, why wasn’t I doing all of those things before I had a deadline? It was as though the deadline made me realize I had to live, but shouldn’t we be living our lives always aiming to live the life we want to live? We should live as though every day was our last.
Lesson 2: If you’re following your dreams, you need to expect nothing going as planned and many obstacles getting in your way
Oh boy is this the naive Vanessa. Moving to a big city, I was definitely thinking I was going to NYC to CHANGE NYC, if you know what I mean. This city has eaten me up, spit me out, and humbled me more than I could ever imagine. Lesson learned very quickly while job searching and finishing my old job that nothing worth having comes easy (sometimes you have to live a saying before you really understand the meaning). I still do not have a steady income and there’s the constant battle between following my dreams and goals or going back to the 9-5. I literally thought I was going to simply conquer the concrete jungle. WRONG. W-R-O-N-G! WRONNNGGG! If I am completely honest, I am lost in the jungle of concrete just trying to survive! Haha! It is HARD to live out the life you want to live, especially as a creative. It’s like running a business with a very unknown outcome. The business being your daily survival and feeling like you’re failing 98% of the time. It’s your hustle. Your grind. Every obstacle getting in your way to stop you from the life you want to live. From my eczema spreading and producing pain leading to tears, to not knowing if all my creative life will make enough money this month. To deciding whether that boss is really worth working that paycheck for, to train delays at the perfect time right before your lessons, the list goes on and on. If I have learned ANYTHING from anyone who has succeeded is that, if you’re following your dreams, you need to expect many obstacles. These obstacles will keep coming but I am not giving up. After all this is the only life I have, I am either going to live my life or die trying.
Lesson 3: God is moving in NYC
New York City has some of the most loving genuine people I have ever met in my entire life. They’re real. They tell you what’s up without faking nice then talking behind your back. They call you out when you do something wrong. Everyone goes out of their way to give up their seats for pregnant women and the elderly. I’ve seen the most chivalrous men helping tired mothers carry strollers up and down the subway stairs so that they reach the subway car in time. I’ve seen business men go out of their way to help pick something up that you have dropped. NYC was the first time I witnessed a homeless man in Starbucks being treated as normal human being as he conversed with the workers and guests. He was not looked down upon, kicked out or treated as lesser than. It’s in NYC where I’ve seen people stand up for what’s right, calling out racism for what it is. It’s in the New York subway when people see a bug land on someone’s shoulder and everyone tries to get the bug off the person so that they aren’t walking around with a bug on them. It’s in NYC where I’ve had powerful encounters with God and what He’s doing in the city.It’s in NYC where I’ve seen God completely transform the lives of so many people who had lost hope and are now instilled with a fire for the Lord that is so vibrant. The list continues, and I am constantly amazed to see so many people moving with the love the God has given me. I can’t help but think that God is seriously present in this city.
These are just a few lessons I have learned in 2018. Although I am nervous for the challenges in 2019, I am expectant that whatever those challenges will be will bring growth and excitement!
